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My search for the moments of love amongst the mess and madness.

Last spring my small tribe were given a fantastic opportunity. For a while things had felt wrong. Work took up too much of our lives. Money dominated and our to do list felt like a never ending punishment. I was on maternity leave and the balance was slowly returning but there was always that niggling reality that this was only a  temporary reprieve and soon our family life would go back to being stretched and stressed.

I kept asking myself if it really needed to be this way. We both had well paid jobs, and although we felt stretched each month with money we certainly weren’t struggling. I kept thinking about how much my parents lived on when we were younger and  about what my happiest childhood memories were. Now I know times have changed dramatically since the 80s and I am fully aware people have a tendency to rose tint the past, but I couldn’t stop feeling I had gone off course. My priorities were wrong and I was being sucked further and further away from where I wanted my life to be.

But what could we do about it?

I am certainly not normally a believer in fate, but we were lucky enough to stumbled upon a solution to our problem. A way out of the trap we had made for ourselves. Mr Big Bear was offered a promotion, meaning I wouldn’t have to return to work. We wouldn’t have the disposable income we had come to rely on – and base our happiness on – but we would be comfortable enough. The job would be closer to our home too, so Big Bear might actually make it back in time for bedtime stories. It is just that the home he would be going home to would now be hundreds of miles away from our old life. Our roots would no longer be growing in Dorset but in North Yorkshire.

It was a big move but one I saw as an adventure. A clean break to help us refocus and get back on track and this blog was formed in my mind as I was packing up the boxes. But like most things in my life, I got sidetracked and bogged down.

I look around at our family and our life and although I am now afforded the luxury of spending much more time with my them, I am definitely less stressed and more content, I still feel there is work to do.

I dream of a simple life that isn’t based on consumerism but still seem to think the only way to get there is to compile Amazon lists on accessories to help me achieve this – who knew the simple life could be so expensive! I read endless books about how to be more present and yet while reading them life passes me by!

This is where the blog comes in. To keep me focused on what is important to us and help us to grow the family life we dreamed off as we packed up the van and headed up the motorway last spring.

Ultimately it is for me, but if you happen to stumble across it then thank you for taking the time to glimpse into my rather random and chaotic mind!

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